On being afraid
For a long time I have lived a way too comfortable life. From socially engineering myself through a large part of highschool and college (I still failed at some parts) to just living the same comfortable routine I always lived like. This summer however I started talking to this girl through the internet that happened to be from Thailand. After a couple of weeks we really had a click going on and I decided to meet up with her for about three weeks in Thailand.
I thought that this was a great way to get out of my comfort zone by travelling across the globe to a complete strange country with a completely different culture (I'm from West Europe). Leading up to my trip I was afraid but I genuinely thought a big step like this would make me feel less afraid in life and delve more often in the unknown. During the trip I had a wonderful time with this girl and as of right now she is my lovely girlfriend and quite frankly the love of my life. The three weeks passed by and I had to return back to my country because my studies started. We both cried and I told her I would be back in december during the Christmas holidays.
During my trip I was constantly dealing with situations that to me were out of my comfort zone. From simple things like speaking to foreigners in English to walking around as a foreigner in a foreign country but most importantly I was never really afraid experiencing the unknown. At some point I got a text from a friend of mine asking me to drive him to the airport on the 21st of September. Me living life outside my comfy bubble immediately told him that I would take him to the airport. Now one thing to know about me is that I absolutely hate driving. I try to avoid driving at all times even though I do have my driver license. I'm afraid of being a bad driver, I'm afraid of getting into an accident, I'm afraid of pissing someone off in traffic. I'm overall afraid to be behind the wheel on the road yet I was not afraid in the moment my friend asked me if I could drive him to the airport on the 21st.
On the 9th of September I returned to my home country to continue my studies. Now that I'm back in my comfort zone I suddenly felt really anxious about driving alone on the road. I'm writing this on the 20th so tomorrow I will be driving my friend to the airport. It fascinates me that as soon as I returned to my "old" life I immediately started being afraid of minor things in life. It is a reminder for me that abandoning my old life and starting a new life somewhere would be the optimal decision to progress for me and not stagnate by being a scared little puppy.
Anyways I will bring my friend to the airport tomorrow as I am a man of my word. Hopefully after I have done it I feel some sort of relief or feel less anxious about being on the road. I will keep you updated.
To whoever read this, have a nice day